I swear I'm not one of those kids that's totally melodramatic and blogs about it... but maybe I am.
I stayed home from school today because I couldn't breathe when I woke up, so that was awesome. I'm really, really allergic to cats (and apparently dogs?) and even the least bit of exposure to them will set me back for at least two days. Needless to say, I must have unknowingly spent some time around these furry felines since I can't climb a set of stairs without feeling completely exhausted once (if) I make it to the top.
So, naturally, babysitting whilst not being able to breathe is the best possible idea, right? Wrong.
Kids are so, so exhausting. I know I'm a kid so I can't even talk... but they (we) really are. I babysit a three year old and a one year old, and they're really cute most of the time but I just can't deal with them sometimes. I feel like an evil person when I snatch a toy away from one of them because they're being bad (the kind of evil Cathy is in East of Eden... THAT kind of evil). But I really do like little kids, most of the time, when I'm not breathless and dying.
The mother told me that I might have some sort of internal emotional stress or anxiety disorder. I didn't know breathlessness was a symptom of this but I guess I could see it. She said I should get it checked out. The only reason I agree with her is because I have been getting thirteen hours of sleep a night consistently and still feel exhausted all the time so... I'll be visiting the doc tomorrow.
I'm reading a book called Blue Like Jazz right now. In it, Donald Miller discusses Christian spirituality from a nonreligious perspective - my favorite. I used to be pretty big into the Christianity thing a while ago but then this year, I sort of lost touch with it. I'm starting to think that there's some truth in it. Maybe not the whole "homosexuality is wrong" and "you're going to hell if you don't believe this" part of it, but more the "you need to be filled up with something" and "giving is better than receiving". Lately, I've really been living for myself and it hasn't been satisfying at all. Maybe I should crack open my Bible again. Maybe not.
Alas, here I am, feeling exhausted, drained, and empty (like the three tubes of mini m&ms I just bought). I dislike being one of thooose teenagers that blogs about her feelings on the Internet but... here I am. To make myself feel better, I bought mini m&ms (so much better than the regular) at a "Buy 2, Get 1 Free" deal at CVS -- good part of my day.
I am now listening to the Next to Normal soundtrack on YouTube because I'm too cheap to actually buy it on iTunes. Seriously, what a great play. I recommend everybody try to see it -- it already closed on Broadway, but I know they're going on tour soon. Check it out.
As for the Some Kind of Wonderful/Indie movies title --
Some Kind of Wonderful is the name of one of those really cheesy 80s movies that nobody wants to admit they like but they really like. I also really like the name.
Indie movies... I wish I had a better explanation. I totally felt like I was in one as I drove home in Bart eating my mini m&ms (out of the tube, obviously) and listening to Eric Hutchinson.
Maybe I should actually do something productive with my time now.
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